This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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