He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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