Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
