If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
