my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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