I think I died a long time ago.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
