i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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