Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
