i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize