either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
