I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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