We're like a lot better than the average bears
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
