We won't sleep together?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
