I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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