I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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