well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
