You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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