So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
cat food counts as protein by the way
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
