I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize