You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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