i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i believe in u and ur pee
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize