Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize