My first STD was from a foam party
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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