if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize