There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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