Can i not drive my cunt home
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
