so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
