none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
