3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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