sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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