i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
