just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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