Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry kls1203 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(989): View more from Michigan

It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.

Fav 28 6359 1714
share tweet
(505): View more from New Mexico

I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.

Fav 1 2374 965
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(434): View more from Virginia

She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere

Fav 9 3404 1572
share tweet
(319): View more from Iowa

I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.

Fav 1 988 1145
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...

Fav 19 981 2248
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.

Fav 3 2437 697
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(231): View more from Michigan

if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid

Fav 3 909 2270
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.

Fav 0 18 52
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(808): View more from Hawaii

What did you delete my number or something

(206): View more from Washington

Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?

Fav 0 107 14
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT