She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
How's work?
Spinning.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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