Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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