I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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