I think my fart just growled at me.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
