It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize