508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
