She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
