thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
