I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
