Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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