And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
