when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
