this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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