: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
