He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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