I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
