It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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