she smelled like a LAN party
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
