Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
