I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
