I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
