she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize