kristin has been a bad kristin
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he was CRYING into my vagina
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
