I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Michael Bay diarrhea
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
