I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
