But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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