We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
