he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
