do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
