it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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