She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
organizing the empties. That sober.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
