so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
