I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It's shark week go big or go home
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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