why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
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