you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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