Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
