Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
