Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
